i was never a headliner.
now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a post mired in self-loathing or
self-deprecation or self-doubt (or any others of those self-attributes with bad
connotations). no, no. i just always felt that i slotted in better
as a supporting act. the
understudy. the “feat.” to a new release
pop song. (side note: jay z, if you need
anyone to be “feat.” on your new track, i am available.) let me clarify: this is not a “waahh, woe is
me” comment. far from it. sometimes those supporting roles are, in
fact, the most memorable. shit, judy
dench won an Oscar for 8 minutes of screen time. true story.
and i AM way hotter than her.
(on a good day…)
i digress… as the
wise snoop dogdy (typo, but it stands) once said: back to the lecture at
hand. sometimes the lead actor isn’t
what draws you to the theatre. sometimes there’s something about peeling back
layers over layers, and then suddenly someone’s an onion. sometimes the whole is greater than the sum of
its parts. (and THIS, my sweet four
readers, is the first time in history that snoop diddy (word) and aristotle
have been quoted together in the same paragraph. boomba!)
bloody hell, let’s stop beating about the bush and let’s talk about
LEFTOVERS!
many moons ago, my fridge was the death of all food. it would arrive, amazing produce, fat and
plump from the market, full of vibrancy and succulence and the promise of
feasting to come, and then… some would
find a dish with its name on it, sure, but the rest of it would wither… shrivel…
wrinkle and fade… until it only
left the hint of a brown shadow on the glass of the vegetable drawer. not just a waste of money, but a terrible
waste of food (surely with these and the leftover goldfish crackers strewn
about my minivan, we could end world hunger??
i’m serious, somebody call sally struthers.) i even arrived home from work one day in my
mid-twenties to find a dear pal cleaning out my fridge. she just couldn’t take it anymore. well, those days are over. now, and perhaps somewhat propelled by three
small people slowing my roll, i am all about making something from a
refrigerated nothing. give me a collection
of random, seemingly-conflicting leftovers, and by GUM i shall find something
interesting to do with them!! it’s time
for the supporting act to shine.
somebody get judi dench on the phone and tell her she’s an onion, too.
now, the trick to making leftovers shine is having a few ingredients
on hand that make you a little weak at the knees. you know, the ones you want to call the
morning after, without waiting the obligatory three days. for me, this is chili bean sauce, pickled
mustard greens, fermented black beans, and kim chi. they might not all make the same appearance
in the same movie each time (every dish can’t be “the expendables,” after all
(side note: thank goodness)), but they certainly bop around and star alongside
each other in many a feature, telly show, and PBS special. if tonight's dinner of soba noodles, leftover chicken, and pea shoots were a harry potter movie, the fermented black beans would be maggie smith as professor McMacklemore: a
little saucy, a little spunky, and they left me wanting a bit more of her next
time. boom!
so there is no recipe for this post, readers one, two,
three, and four. nothing but a
manifesto, if you will. scour thy
fridge, take your staples of protein, of veg, and potentially of carb, and then
by gum you tart them up!! a hint of acid
(no, not a hit of acid, walter white) with a squirt of lemon juice or vinegar,
a dab of something pungent and savoury (think fermented black beans or miso
paste), a bright smattering of thinly-sliced scallions or preserved lemon to make it dance, and suddenly you've created something special. something worth
remembering. eat every forkful
knowing that it cost you nothing, and that sally struthers and judi dench (and
possibly even snoop dizzy) are cheering your every bite. (“so just chillll, ‘til the next episode…”)
