rollin' with my homies

though it is no secret that i have an appetite for good food much like axl rose has for destruction, the acts of mastication (re-read that if you must and get your minds out of the gutter.  rude) and consumption are not the only reasons i cook.  sure, a hopefully delicious end result might sweeten the deal, but cooking, to me, is not just a freeway connecting fridge to mouth.  no, no.  for me, cooking is far more than that.  on those days when things seem overwhelming, when a 3:1 kid:adult ratio seems like cruel punishment, when insurmountable is the word of the day, well…  i hit my library of culinary tomes old and new, devise a cooking project, and now suddenly everything has changed.  now we have a game plan.  now we have a strategy.  now we have a way to get from A to B, my kids hopefully learn something, and at the end of it we (fingers crossed) have something delicioso on the table.  for me, cooking is salvation.

spring break arrived here in the pacific northwest with something of a soggy slap.  we traded boob-flashing bikinis for rain coats and wellies, and there's been a whole lot of all three menschkins and myself stuck inside, watching the rain on the skylights as we daydream of sunshine and sand.  

by day 3, “stir crazy” had come and gone, sanity was rapidly becoming a distant memory for all, and even the 1 yr old seemed to be fashioning a crude kind of shiv out of his elmo phone as he gave me the side-eye.  something told me not to mess with him, or to at least change his name to “Big Sally,” so i decided that it was time for A Project.  menschkin the elder, a self-confessed dim sum fanatic, decided that we should try our hand at making spring rolls.  i told him i wasn’t that well-versed with the technique, but that we could roll with it.  shortly after he scraped his eyes off the ceiling, we jumped in the car and headed off to our local asian supermarché, in search of spring roll wrappers and better puns.

deciding that a rapper would be a good sous chef for our wrapping, macklemore came along for the ride.  here he is helping menschkin the elder pick out some fancy mushrooms. 

back at home, we prepped our fillings, set out a rolling station, and i let eldest menschkin get to work, rollin' with his homies.  darling daughter declined to help, but instead happily lurked in the background under dramatic lighting, doing best impression of morticia adams.  

even Big Sally put the shiv aside for a short while, intrigued by the day's activities, and for a few blissful hours on a rainy spring break afternoon, there was peace in the menschkin household.

spring (break) rolls 

1 pack frozen spring roll wrappers (i suppose you could make your own, but that would seemingly go against the sanity-saving theme), defrosted

4 carrots, shredded

2 sticks celery, shredded

4 spring onions, thinly sliced

1/2 cup beansprouts

1 tbsp soy sauce

2 tsps rice vinegar

1/2 tsp sesame oil

either attend culinary school and learn how to perfectly julienne your vegetables, or just use a $15 mandoline to do the work for you.  either way, shred your veg.

(thinly sliced mushrooms would also make an excellent addition.  macklemore's carefully chosen funghi ended up becoming an alien moonscape for some brave lego explorers, however.  live and learn)

heat canola oil in sauté pan and stir-fry vegetables until tender, just a minute or two.  add soy sauce, vinegar and sesame oil.  combine and remove from heat.

take one wrapper at a time (dr. dre, kanye, warren g... somebody stop me), covering the stack with a damp paper towel so they don't dry out.  place a spoonful of the filling in the middle, as if you're about to wrap a really yummy xmas present.

fold the bottom triangle upwards, fold in the sides, then roll up like a fat cigar (or perhaps something else our rapper friends might be fond of).

once all your rolls are rolled, heat some canola oil in a sauté pan until hot, then shallow fry until golden on all sides.  

serve so immediately that you entirely forget to take a single picture of the finished product, with chile dipping sauce on the side, and preferably some 90's hip hop on in the background.  mount up!