ain't gno thing

i think it was when i came across a description of gnocchi as “fluffy little pillows” that i first fell in love with them.  i mean, that’s just taking comfort food, which i am all about, to the next level.  there’s also the fact that they’re a sort of dumpling that makes my inner core cry out for them.  i have a major food-crush on dumplings of all shape, size, and cuisine.  fat, stodgy eastern-european numbers floating atop a caraway gravy; succulent little chinese parcels stuffed with pork and scalding hot broth; or these italian nubbins of cloud-like perfection.  my husband, upon trying gnocchi for the first time in a spiffy italian restaurant, declared “huh, they’re kind of like tater tots.”  to the 3 people reading these words, do not listen to him.  that’s like finishing “fifty shades of grey” and saying “huh, it’s kind of like tolstoy.”  sure, they’re both books, pages with words printed on them, but that doesn’t make it “war and peace.” 

i came across the recipe for “ricotta and chive gnocchi” in the most excellent “food 52 cookbook.”  it promised the perfect blend of stodge and fluff that appeals to my british roots, so away i went.  truth: should you be looking for an easy, quick weeknight dinner, this is not it.  the faff factor was somewhat off the scale, frankly.  BUT i bravely forged ahead as visions of fluffy little pillows drenched in butter danced before my eyes…  following the recipe to the letter, i boiled and then riced the potatoes (when did “rice” become a verb??  i missed that memo), added the eggs and the flour, rolled & formed the gnocchi…  so far so good.  the recipe then calls to boil them, remove to a colander, then pan-fry to give them that brown, crisp exterior we all crave.  and here, sweet 3 people reading this, is where it all went horribly, horribly wrong.  softened by the boiling process, then slopped into a colander, the sweet, carefully formed little dumplings all proceeded to do everything in their power to glob together into one big sticky mass.  well, bloody hell...  with a whole lot of careful work, i managed to somewhat save them, and the sautéing still delivered that crust, but my pillows now looked more like jabba the hut.  (don’t you just want to make this recipe NOW?!)  of course, when googling various recipes to find out where i went wrong, i came across the following sentence:  “retrieve the gnocchi with a slotted spoon and put them on a baking sheet or plate.”  so simple, so easy, and i bet it would make all the difference in the world.  knowledge is power, people.

the other great boon of this recipe is it somehow made enough for about 3 dinners.  i spread the unused, uncooked gnocchi on baking sheets, froze them, then transferred them to a freezer bag.  the next time i’m craving my fluffy little pillows, they can go into the boiling water straight from frozen.  faff factor:  zero.  jabba the hutt?  hopefully banished to a galaxy far, far away.

ricotta and chive gnocchi (adapted from "the food52 cookbook" - a bloody good read)

3 russet potatoes

2 eggs

1 cup ricotta

1/2 cup grated parmesan (plus more for sprinkling, if you like things cheesy)

1/3 cup chives

2 cups of flour (plus more for rolling, etc.)

6 Tbs butter

6 Tbs olive oil

salt & pepper 

bring a large pot of water to boil and add the potatoes.  boil for 45 minutes, then drain potatoes in a colander and let cool.

once the potatoes have cooled down, remove and discard the skins.  in a large bowl, mash the potatoes. (the mixture needs to be as smooth as possible, so use a ricer if you have one.)  then, add the eggs, ricotta, parmesan, and chives.

add the flour and stir together until you get a malleable, dough-like consistency.  take a handful or two of flour and scatter it on a smooth surface.  place your dough on the flour and begin rolling with your hands as if you're forming a large snake.  you will end up getting a very large tube of dough, about two feet long.  cut this into quarters, and continue rolling each individual segment until you form rolls that are no bigger than a quarter in circumference.  (any bigger and you'll have difficulty cooking them.)

use a knife to cut off little sections and roll them around in the palm of your hand to make the gnocchi.  you may need to continue dredging them in a little flour as you go.  set all the finished gnocchi on a large plate to the side.

once all the gnocchi have been formed, dump them into a pot of boiling, salted water. boil the gnocchi for five minutes.

for the love of all that is fluffy and delicious, DO NOT drain the boiled gnocchi in a colander. instead, retrieve the gnocchi with a slotted spoon and put them in a single layer on a baking sheet or plate.  whew.  then, in a large sauté pan over medium high heat, add two tablespoons of oil and butter.  sauté in batches until the gnocchi form a light, brown crust.  add more oil or butter as needed for subsequent batches.  sprinkle gnocchi with extra parmesan cheese and chives.  

serve to family who claim to be wasting away to nothing after waiting soooooooooo long for dinner.  watch as number-one son cleans his plate in five minutes tops, clearly not disturbed in the least by their hutt-esque appearance.