muscles from brussels

to me, the word “brussels” brings a couple of things to mind:  jean claude van damme and his preposterously flexible crotch, and also the word “flemish,” which, let’s be honest, sounds pretty much like someone clearing their throat.  neither (again, to me) seeming particularly appetising.  but, wait.  hang on a tic.  if we’re talking about the world’s teeniest brassica; that adorable little mini-cabbage, well then, for the love of all things van or damme, that’s a whole different story!

when I grew up in england, you had “school dinners” instead of lunches; you ate “supper” not dinner; but thankfully breakfast was still “breakfast,” otherwise, frankly, who would know what meal you were eating??   brussels sprouts were a frequent visitor to the “two veg” part of the plate, but they always had a bad rap.  truth be told, they probably still do.  a much-maligned vegetable for as long as I’ve been aware of food, they tended to languish in my culture as something decidedly negative, a punishment offered to misbehavior.  that i emerged from such vehemence with not merely a shrugging indifference, but in fact a violent love of those little green cruciferous bad boys is, frankly, shocking. 

so come, take my hand and let’s help dispel the myth together.  brussels sprouts are GOOD!  and TASTY!  they have soul and backbone and sex appeal and look dishy with grey hair and have a sharp wit and have worked tirelessly to find a solution in darfur!  wait, okay, so most of those things are george clooney, but brussels sprouts are pretty bloody good, too.

i found these medieval clubs of brussels' stalks in trader joe's a few days ago.  it was an impulse buy of the strangest kind, but as i teach my children, we roll with the punches.  time to figure out what to do with a stalk of brussels bigger than your eldest's head (or bigger, as it would turn out, than your cat).  

roasted brussels sprouts (this recipe is frankly silly-easy)

• 
  
• a stalk of brussels sprouts
• 3 good glugs of olive oil
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

cut off the stalk ends of the brussels sprouts and pull off any outer leaves that have seen better days. 

put them in a bowl with the olive oil, salt and pepper.  mix well.

pour them onto a sheet pan and roast for 35 to 40 minutes, until crisp on the outside and tender on the inside.

toss in the pan from time to time to brown all sides evenly. 

ahhhh, crispy and well-rounded and all kinds of tasty.  and for once i'm not talking about george clooney...